I Won't Give Up
by Xiomy318
Summary: It wasn't an easy decision to make but she had to make it for herself. Jax and Tara
1. Chapter 1

So, I needed a small break from _There's Us_. I hope you guys enjoy. When I hear Jason Mraz's _I Won't Give Up_, I was inspired to write this short story. For the readers who haven't read _There's Us_, I make a couple of reference here. If you get confused, head over there and give my longer story a quick read. Maybe I will continue. I hope you enjoy.

Please review and respond.

XOXO

_When I look into your eyes_

_It's like watching the night sky_

_Or a beautiful sunrise_

_Well, there's so much they hold_

_And just like them old stars_

**I Won't Give Up**

It felt like her soul was being ripped apart.

Every single fiber of her body hurt. Everything from her fingertips to her heart hurt so badly that for hours she thought that death would be better than enduring the pain she was in.

He wasn't going to leave. For months, she fooled herself into thinking he would leave with her. She fooled herself into thinking that the bond they shared was so much stronger than the club he was born into.

The tears kept streaming freely down her cheeks as she lay on her bed. For over three years, she loved him wholeheartedly. He was everything to her; no one else but him mattered. She gave him her body and soul and yet he chose Samcro over her.

For three years, she constantly fought with her father over him. She couldn't even count all the fights she got into with other girls for him. Nearly everything she did in the past three years was for him; everything but her education.

She always took pride in her education. She scored perfectly in her SAT's. She got into all the colleges and universities she applied to. When she graduated high school as valedictorian, she was so proud of her academic achievements. She became something more than just an Old Lady who got knocked up too young. She proved everyone whoever doubted her, wrong. But at eighteen, she was deeper in love with Jax than ever before—she simply could not walk away from him and his allure. She gave herself one year to convince him to leave with her and she failed miserably.

He loved her too. He often told her so when they were alone. He proved it to her nearly every night when they made love.

As tears streamed down her eyes, she let her mind wander to the last couple of months.

Things have been rocky between them. They fought constantly over small things. The sweet butts and Crow Eaters…the protection runs…Samcro…Gemma's constant interference…The list was endless. The intensity of their fights bled over to their sex life. Nearly every night, their love making was so intense that sometimes it frightened her.

For months she pleaded for them to leave to San Diego, where she still had an offer from UC San Diego, but to no avail. The more she argued for their exit, the more he refused to budge. It was his refusal to leave that constantly reminded her of the man she fell in love with.

He was broken, like she was, but there was this unexplainable innocence that she loved. His eyes were pure and honest—now there was a hard glint behind his stare. She knew that he rarely told her the truth about his whereabouts with Samcro or the actions he had to commit for the club. There were rumors of the blackmailing, gunrunning, racketeering… part of her did not want to believe them, but deep down she knew they were true. Why else was Samcro so feared in Charming?

Even with the grim realities of Charming, she still had hopes for them.

When she and Jax first started, they both had a lot of baggage but in each other they found peace. At first, everyone thought that she and Jax would eventually get tired of one another, chalking up their relationship to teenage lust. As the months passed, it was more than obvious that what she and Jax shared was deeper than teenage lust.

No one understood them. When they were together, it was as if everything made sudden sense and what others thought didn't matter. They were a team. They were one.

But as the years passed, she felt disconnected from Charming and herself. Tara only had Jax since her Dad was more or less useless. Years of alcoholism and loneliness made Derek bitter and at times violent with his only daughter. It didn't help that Tara looked so much like her deceased mother, Madison.

And just like her mom, Tara dreamed of getting out of Charming and making something out of herself. The only mother figures she ever had were Madison, who ended up killing herself when Tara was nine and Gemma, Jax's overly protective mother. And Tara knew she didn't want to end up like either of them. Subsequently, she had to leave. She just had to…

But then there was Jax. Before him, she didn't have anything. When he came into her life, she felt like she had everything.

And if she left Charming, without him, she would have absolutely nothing…

He parked his bike two blocks away from her house. His body ached in ways he didn't think possible. He had just come back from a five day run to Oregon and back. All he wanted more than anything was a hot shower and Tara. He missed her so fucking much while he was away. Every fucking minute he thought of her… of the peace he felt when he was with her. Lately things between them were not running as smoothly as he hoped. Her obsession with leaving Charming was starting to affect their relationship and he didn't like it at all.

He just couldn't shake the feeling that something awful was going to happen to them.

When he finally reached her house, he walked around to her open window. Peering in, he felt like he had been punch in the stomach.

Tara was staring at her ceiling, tears silently streaming down her face.

Pushing himself up, Jax quickly entered her room. She didn't even look his way, even though he knew that she knew he was there.

Walking towards her bed, he sat next to her silently wiping the tears away with his thumbs.

"Babe?"

She shook her head at him. Sitting up, Tara leaned against her headboard, refusing to meet his eyes, as she stared down at her hands as tears continued to fall down to her lap.

"Please look at me, baby."

When she did, he felt like a dagger was plummeted straight into his heart. She looked so disappointed and heartbroken. Generally, when she did have that look in her eyes, it was towards others, like her Dad, but it was never directed at him. And he felt like her gaze was crushing the even the deepest confinements of his soul.

"Babe?"

"Please don't Jax. Just don't." She stood and walked to stand in front of her window, away from him. She folded her arms across her chest, waiting for his explanations. His full on lies or half truths that she knew he would tell her because he feared that telling her the truth would cause her to run away from him…from them. Because he knew he would lose her if she knew all the shit he had done to secure his standing in the club.

Three years ago, he didn't want to be in love. He didn't want to feel hopeless or vulnerable when it came to someone else. All he wanted was to be part of the club his Dad formed. And now, he was torn between two courses of action that could lead him to two different lifestyles.

With the MC, he knew he would excel beyond what was expected of him. Being an outlaw was in his bones. Even now, at the tender age of nineteen, he was making his mark within the Sons, securing his legacy and that of his Dad. He was making decisions for the club that surprised even his mother, but that nevertheless impressed his brothers across all charters.

But then there was Tara. Before her, his life was chaotic. Nothing made sense since John and Thomas died. He felt lost and alone—until that fateful day when they ran into each other in the cemetery shortly after John's funeral. Since then, she had brought a light that was missing in his world. And now, he feared that the light would forever leave him if he didn't make the right decision. He could feel her desperation. She wanted to leave Charming as badly as he wanted to stay.

Two different paths; only one of him.

Sighing, he also stood and walked to where she was standing. Rubbing her upper arms, Jax pleaded, "Tara, please understand. There are things that I just have to do for Samcro that I cannot tell you about. When I patched in, an oath of secrecy came with the patch. I had to make a run for the club. It took longer than expected but now I am here, babe, with you." If only she knew that a couple of days ago, he put a bullet in a Mayans crown for defying Samcro.

The hardness of her gaze didn't not simmer.

There was a time, before he started prospecting, that he told her everything and anything. The openness they shared could not even be rivaled by the frankness he and Opie shared. When he got his kutte, he knew things would change. He hoped it was for the better. The deeper he got involved with the club, the less he was willing to be open with her about what occurred while he was doing business for the MC.

Now, he was becoming a harden criminal who told her half-truths in order to protect her from the life he was fully embracing.

"When are you going to stop lying to me?"

"Tara, I am not lying."

She scoffed at his response. Feeling the frustrations bubbling up within him, he dropped his hands to his sides. "What the fuck do you want from me?"

She looked at him…really looked at him. Her silence unnerved him.

"What the fuck do I want from you, Jax? At this point, absolutely nothing." With that said, she walked around him and out of her room.

Her answer really bugged the fuck out of him. Something about the way she said that had his heart beating against his chest.

This shit isn't good.

Walking out of her room, he sought her out. After searching the living room and kitchen, even her Dad's room, he was surprised to find her in the backyard, staring at the horizon. The sun was quickly setting, bringing out some of the red in her auburn hair.

He walked to where she was standing. Standing behind her, he wrapped his arms around her middle, bringing closer to him so he could inhale her scent. He loved the way she smelled. Lavender and vanilla and just plain fucking sweet.

"You know I love you, right?"

She leaned her head so it rested against his shoulder. "I know," she whispered. "But sometimes, love isn't enough, Jax." She turned in his arms. Looking into each other's eyes, Tara leaned in and placed a soft kiss in his lips.

"I need to be alone tonight Jax. Please give me some time." Pulling away, Tara walked back into the house, shutting the door behind her.

His heart dropped to his stomach.

This shit was definitely not good.

When she heard the rumble of his Dyna, Tara turned to look out her window. She came to recognize the sound of his bike years ago and as the sound faded into the night, she allowed for the sorrow to shallow her whole.

Walking towards her bed, she sat and with shaking hands picked up the phone. Dialing the number that now had become familiar, she waited for the call to be picked up.

"Hello?"

"Lisa? Hi, this is Tara, Derek's daughter. I was wondering if the offer still stands?"

"Tara, my dear! Of course! You come down to San Diego whenever you want? I have a bedroom ready for you!"

She was leaving. She was really leaving…

She felt her heart breaking into a million pieces.

**Ten Years Later**

As they shared that kiss, he knew that he would give it his all.

He wasn't going to lose her again. For ten years, his heart was hallowed in by her absence. Now he had Abel and another son in the way. But most importantly, he had her. She stood by his side when shit was upside down and he loved her more for that. For believing in them, when he couldn't.

He wasn't going to lose her. Talking the sonogram picture out of her hand, he stared at the life they created together. To think that he could have easily lost them both to Salazar…never again would he let anyone harm his family. He will gut anyone who caused his family any harm…gut them like he gutted Salazar.

Putting down the sonogram picture, his eyes connected with hers. She looked at him questioningly. Leaning to where her stomach was, he placed his head on top of her stomach.

She had given him everything. Two sons…peace…love. She was everything he ever wanted and needed.

Placing a soft kiss on her growing tummy, Jax stood straight and looked in to her eyes.  
"Never again, babe. I won't ever give up on us…" He leaned in and gave her one last kiss before taking her hand and walking her out of the room….


	2. Chapter 2

I wasn't planning to continue this story, but due to the request of many of you, I caved in and wrote another chapter. So, it seems like I will be writing two stories simultaneously. I would recommend for my readers to read _There's Us_ first, if you haven't, since I make reference to background histories that I cover in my first story.

With this one, I am going to jump around seasons but this story will focus mostly on those filler scenes, I wished were on the show. Some things will be before the show, some during…I will see where my creative instincts take me.

This chapter is slightly different… It's Jax and Wendy/ Tara and Kohn. Please review and respond.

None of these characters belong to me. J

Chapter 2

His breath came out in bursts as he collapsed on top of her. He could still feel the effects of the weed and booze in his system as he whispered, "Tara," against her neck.

He felt her stiffen under him. Rolling off her, Jax reached towards the night table and lit a cigarette as she stood from the bed and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

Giving her a few minutes to collect herself, Jax knew he fucked up. He heard the shower running and he knew he should go in there and make things right, but he was at the point that he really didn't give a fuck about what occurred in their relationship. Tonight, he just needed a quick release before he went about his usual night business at the clubhouse.

She stepped out of the bathroom just as he finished his cigarette. Rubbing his stomach, Jax looked at Wendy as she walked around their bedroom, naked and soaking wet. Usually, he would find this to be an absolute turn on. Wendy was hot…some might agree that she was smoking but she just didn't do it for him anymore. Even when he physically buried himself in her, he still felt empty as soon as he reached his orgasm.

Getting tired of the silence, Jax stood from the bed and started putting on the clothes he discarded when he first walked into their bedroom. He needed to take a ride. He needed to clear his head from all the voices that constantly plague him before making his way back to the clubhouse.

"You aren't going to say anything?"

Jax looked at his wife. With only panties on, Wendy crossed her arms over her exposed breasts, waiting for him to acknowledge his earlier fuck up.

Jax shrug his shoulders in complete indifference. "Nothing to say."

Picking up his smokes, Jax started heading out the bedroom when he felt her nails digging into his arm.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE WALK OUT OF HERE."

Her nails cut into his skin. Wendy was on the verge of hysteria, he could see it in her brown eyes.

Luckily for her, she wasn't clawing at his father's memorial tat. "Get your hands off me, Wendy." The hard glint of his eyes did not deter her—quite the opposite. She held onto him even tighter.

"You can't leave me!" she screeched causing him to flinch. When he first met Wendy, all he wanted was to forget and bury himself in fresh pussy. She was a girl from the city, who moved to Charming to get away from the demons that haunted her. He figured that she saw him as her own personal savior, the one who could keep her away from the needle. At first he liked knowing that someone needed him as much as Wendy did. Now, two years later, they had the marriage of hell, he often leaving her behind to wallow in her pain and abandonment, while he buried himself deeper into the club he sacrificed many things for including love. The more her desperation grew to tied him down, the more he fought against what she wanted to create.

"Wendy, get your hands off me." His tone was deadly and gave no room for argument.

"NO!"

Her grip would not lessen against his muscular arm. By now the tears were streaming freely down her cheeks. Even though he didn't love her, he wasn't that much of an asshole. His features soften.

Sighing, Jax rubbed his hands against his face. Looking at his wife, Jax waited for her to calm down. Releasing her hold, Wendy sat on their bed and waited for the sobs to stop. Jax leaned against the bureau, waiting for her to calm down. After a few minutes, Wendy looked at him, her eyes red and her nose running. "Why can't you love me, Jax?"

The million-dollar question. He immediately knew the answer and so did she, but he couldn't say the words. When he was sixteen he gave himself wholeheartedly to another woman, who to this day carried his heart, even if she was miles away. How could he love someone else, when his heart and soul was with another person?

When he was with Tara, he felt alive. All of his happier memories had Tara attached to them making it difficult for him to forget her.

She was the first person he cried to when John died. She was the first person who he opened up to after John died. Tara was the one who held his hand when he got the memorial in his arm done. She was also the first person who rode out of TM with him when he first got his kutte and bike. She was everything to him…and she left him alone and broken in little old Charming.

By the fifth year of her departure he was getting tired of it all—of the gunrunning, of Gemma's manipulations, of Clay's dictatorial rule of Samcro and the crow eaters. He was tired of forgetting the faces and names of the women he slept with. He was tired of them trying to get their claws into Prince Charming because they knew he would one day be the head of the throne.

When Wendy walked into his life a couple of years later, he knew it wouldn't work, but to his credit, he gave it a shot. By the time their wedding rolled in, he remember thinking he was making the biggest mistake of his life, but he went with it. When the judge declared them husband and wife, he thought of Tara. When he leaned in to kiss Wendy, he closed his eyes and thought of Tara and how he wished it was their day instead of his and Wendy's. Innately, he knew their marriage wasn't going to work from day one. But now, he knew it went too far.

"Look Wendy, this…" he used his forefinger to signal them, "was a mistake. We shouldn't have gotten back together. We will never work."

Wendy's sobs started again. Jax looked down to the floor. He knew he shouldn't be doing this now. She had only been clean and sober for a couple of weeks but he didn't have the heart to continue with the lies. He couldn't continue to lie to Wendy, making her think that one day he would be hers when in reality, he will always be waiting for Tara.

"I'm sorry, Wendy." Pushing himself away from the bureau, he gave her one last kiss on the forehead before walking out of the house that was meant to be their home. Climbing into his Dyna, Jax rode out, leaving behind the broken home that was never really home to him.

* * *

"Do you want Merlot or Chardonnay?"

Tara put down the menu and sighed. "Doesn't really matter to me."

If it were up to her, she would have ordered a double shot of Jameson, but the restaurant they were at was clearly too high class for such an order.

She looked around the restaurant. The china looked too expensive to be eaten out of. All the tables had a sole candle illuminating the occupants. Waiters dressed in penguin suits served the couples around them.

He reached out across the table and grabbed her hands. "I am so happy you are here with me, Tar-Tar." He smiled at her.

Working as a doctor has help her put on many different masks and tonight was one of those nights. Forcing a smile, Tara looked at Josh. "Its nice being here." Tara pulled her hands away from his and folded them across her lap.

Right then, a waiter with a heavy French accent approached their table. Taking down their orders, the waiter disappeared just as quickly as he appeared, leaving Tara with the ATF agent.

"You look so beautiful."

Again, Tara forced a smile. Tonight she adorned the sole dress that hung from her closet. It was black and sleeveless. Nothing special about it, in all reality but it seemed to impress her new boyfriend, who was accustomed to seeing her dressed in scrubs.

"Thank you, Joshua."

The waiter appeared with a bucket filled with ice and a champagne bottle poking out of the bucket. Popping the bottle open, the waiter poured champagne into two flutes and left them alone once again.

"What's this for?" Tara asked as she held her flute.

"This, my only love, is to celebrate us. Our anniversary." Josh toasted as his flute tapped hers. He took a sip and waited for her to do the same.

Tara gave him a confused look. "Anniversary?"

He nodded. "The date we met. It was three months ago, Tar-Tar."

Tara frowned. She barely remembered what she ate last night for dinner yet Josh remembered the day they met. She couldn't even really remember their first encounter. She did recall his insistence in her going out with him. He was relentless in his pursuit of her.

"Drink." Her eyes connected with his. Even though he was still smiling, there was something cold about his stare.

Tara took a sip as she studied the ATF agent.

This was going to be one long night.


	3. Chapter 3

_San Diego 1999_

"I could give you 50 for this one."

Tara looked up at the man. "That's fine."

The man nodded behind the cage.

Tara looked around as the man continued to study her jewelry pieces. The pawnshop was filled with old antiques and bits and pieces from people who were in her same situation.

Her father's cousin had just lost her job. Tara couldn't rely on her father to send her money given that his alcoholism was raging out of control according to her cousin. The new semester was starting up and she needed the money ASAP to buy her books. She wasn't making enough as a waitress in the small diner where she worked to cover all her expenses.

"150 for this one."

Tara snapped out of her inner musings. She looked at the piece the man was holding up. It was a beautiful necklace that she inherited from her mother. It was a thin silver chain with a small silver ball, which hung from the end. Feeling a knot in her throat, Tara nodded and looked away as the man continued to study the remaining pieces, giving her prices with each piece he studied.

"Wow. This is really something. Someone paid a fortune for this one."

Tara looked at the piece he was holding up. It was a charm bracelet given to her when she turned eighteen. Tara took the piece from his hands and looked at it for one last time. Even though she knew the piece by heart, she just needed to hold it.

Each charm had a meaning behind it. A small silver motorcycle symbolizing her first ride with Jax—a ride that had her clutching to him with all her might because she was so scared they would get into an accident. The faster he went, the tighter she held causing him to roar in laughter as the wind blew and the sun shone brightly.

A feather, which represented Samcro because one day he was going to rule the MC he loved so much. She could still vividly recall every party and every night she spent in the clubhouse, being part of his world. Even though she left Charming to escape the influence of the MC, there were times when she really missed the easy going relationship she had with multiple members of the club. She missed the jokes, the parties…she missed having that nuclear family.

An open book because she was the "nerd of all nerds," as Jax often said as he teased her for her studious nature. He loved her intelligence but it was her studies and her desire to become something more than an Old Lady that drove her away from Charming. Now, nearly three years later, she did not regret leaving so she could get degree but as the years passed the hole in her heart grew bigger and bigger.

A maple tree that symbolize the mellow where they spent so many hours, talking, laughing, making love… that mellow became their beacon whenever they wanted to escape the harsh realities of Charming.

A crescent moon, "because I love you to the moon and back," he had whispered once after they made love. "You are everything to me Tara," he said as he gently kissed her lips. That night, they made love countless times and each time she fell more and more in love with him.

And a solitary heart. "My heart will always belong to you, babe," he said as he gently put the charm on her bracelet after one of their nastier arguments. It was six months before she left Charming.

"Miss?"

Tara swallowed back her tears. Clearing her throat, she handed the bracelet back to the man. "How much?"

"200"

Tara shook her head. "Absolutely not! This is worth much more and you know it."

"Look sweetheart, I am sure it does, but this is no Tiffany's piece. You could take it or leave it."

The sob escaped her lips before she could even stop it. The man gave her a sympathetic look as he watched her break apart in front of him. It felt like her heart was breaking again into a million pieces. For a few minutes she allowed for the sorrow to consume her as she cried for her love lost.

"Listen..." the man took a deep breath. "I usually don't do this but I'll put this on the side for you for a couple of months. You don't come back to get it by the end of the year, I'll put it up for display. But 200 is the most I am going to give you sweetheart."

Tara nodded as the tears continued to stream down her face. "It's worth so much more," she whispered as the man handed the money that would go towards her books.

* * *

_Charming 1997_

"JAX!"

He mumbled in his sleep. He felt his body moving involuntarily as someone shook him.

"Jackson Nathaniel Teller, you get up from this bed, right now!" Gemma shouted from the top of her lungs.

Jax turned his head away from his mother as he heard someone whisper, "...come on Gem... Let me have a word with him."

He heard the sharp intake of breath she took before her heels made him aware that she was walking out of his room. The slamming of his door also proved to him that Gemma was hella pissed off and he knew he would pay for that later.

His head was pounding. He needed a shower ASAP and a big cup of coffee. It was the smell of the cigarette that made him open his eyes even though he regretted it immediately. The light that was streaming into his room seemed to make his headache worse. Sitting up on his bed, Jax looked at the man that was occupying his desk chair. They stared at one another for a few minutes, he silently smoking his cigarette as Jax silently watched him.

"Look, say what you came to say and get out. I want to be the fuck alone."

"What are you doing, Jax?"

Jax scoffed. He was about to rub his face with his hands when he noticed the hospital bracelet on his wrist. "What the fuck?"

Bobby put out his cigarette. "That's what happen when you drink 3 bottles of tequila in one night. We had to drag our ass to the ER. They pumped that six pack of yours and gave you an IV to make sure you didn't dehydrate or some shit like that. You were too fucked up to even know what was going on. You demanded to be released even though the doc wanted to keep you there overnight. Went ape shit on some poor nurse. Nearly gave Gemma a heart attack"

"I don't remember any of that."

"Of course you won't. Do you even know what has been going on around you for the past 3 months? Have you looked around you?"

Jax looked down at his sheets. He could smell the booze coming out of his pores in waves. His headache wasn't getting any better.

"Look Jax. I know how you are feeling."

Jax scoffed again. He rubbed his tired eyes and looked at Bobby. "Do ya?" he replied sarcastically.

Bobby nodded. "Before I came to Charming with your pops and Clay, I learned to cook the books for the Mafia in Reno—learned it from my Old Man. I was making good money, ya know? One day, when I was about your age, I was down in one of the Mafia owned bar, when the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes came waltzing into the bar with a bunch of her gals. She was a stunner, that one." Bobby crossed his legs in front of him and leaned back on the chair. "When I asked the bartender to send over a drink to her, he flat out refused. Told me she was the daughter of one of the Mafia's henchmen. Told me to stay away from her but I couldn't Jackson. Six months later, she was my Old Lady. We were real happy, Terri and I."

Jax knew his brothers. They have shared so much in the past three years and that's why the members of Samcro were his family, Bobby included. Bobby was always the conscious of the club. Always had a calm but passionate demeanor to him as he tried to reason with his brothers when things were getting too intense inside the Chapel and today, in his room, Bobby's calmness had an eerie aura to it.

"What happened to Terri?"

"The Mafia has a lot of enemies, Jackson."

Jax looked at his fellow brother. Silently, Bobby got up from the chair and walked over to Jax's bed. Sitting at the edge of the bed, Bobby patted Jax's knee. "Miss her. Cry for her if you have to but don't drown yourself in your own sorrow, Jax. What you are doing right now, it ain't good for no one. Drinking your pain away ain't going to bring her back. She is gone. She has been gone for months now and she ain't coming back. Move on. She has. Don't forget that you have the club. We got your back brother…" Giving him one last pat on the knee, Bobby walked out of his room and shut the door.

Minutes after Bobby left, Jax stood from his bed and walked into his bathroom. Turning on the lights, what he saw in his reflection shook him to his core. His face was hallowed in and he had dark circles around his eyes. The beard on his chin was growing out of control and his hair was full with knots. Leaning against the sink, Jax took a deep breath. He couldn't continue living like this…he was a walking zombie, living in autopilot.

His body started trembling. He held onto the sink with all his might but the tremors starting wrecking havoc on him. He felt powerless and lost. When he couldn't hold them anymore, he allowed for the tears he held in for months to fall freely down his face.

She was really gone.

Tara was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry for taking so long to update. Being a working gal has taken a toll on me. Spoilers are coming out regarding Jax and Tara in Season 6 and its not looking to good for our beloved couple… I am still hoping they get their happily ever after.

Again, I make a reference to my other story, There's Us, so if you haven't read it, please go ahead and do so. I am writing the next chapter to that story so please expect a posting in the next couple of days.

Please review and respond. J

Chapter 4

The door slammed shut; the silence in the room was absolute. He briefly closed his eyes, opening them quickly when he felt that woman moving closer to the bed.

She had a pleasing smirk on her face. As she stood in front of the bed waiting for him to invite her back into bed with him, Jax had the sudden urge to rip his shirt out of her high-trafficked pussy.

If she didn't get out of the dorm room, he knew he would do something he had never done before…the urge to slap the smile of her face was too great for Jax to simply ignore it. She had to leave…

"Get out," he whispered menacingly, hoping she immediately got the hint. He knew that Ima was taking great pleasure in Tara humiliation and that pissed him off even more.

With a shrug, she pulled his shirt over her head and threw at him. Collecting her clothes, she put them on quickly without even giving him a second glance, the smugness still evident on her face.

When she opened the door to the dorm, she turned around and smirked. "This was fun Prince Charming. You ever want to fuck me again, you know where to find me." With that said, she slammed the door shut, leaving Jax alone in that room that reeked of sex, weed, and whiskey.

Throwing the spoiled sheets off his body, Jax walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower full blast. Before stepping in, he stood in front of the small mirror and looked at his weary reflection. He couldn't help but notice the parallelism between the man who stood in the mirror before him and the man who Tara left behind eleven years ago.

Just like eleven years ago, he lost the only woman who truly mattered to him. Looking into his reflection, he knew what he did was wrong but it had to be done. His world destroyed everything in its path and he couldn't…wouldn't allow Tara to be a casualty of it. His world had taken his son and he be damned if it took his girl too.

Shutting his eyes, Jax held onto the sink with all his might. He tried to block the image that was making its way into his head but he couldn't. Donna lying dead on the pavement while Opie held her dead body, crying out of pure grief. For a brief movement, he saw himself crying over Tara's body, her green eyes glazed over as blood pour over multiple bullet wounds in her body.

No. That couldn't be her future. Not if he could help it. He had to do it…he had to fuck Ima and let Tara catch them. He had to hurt her like he never had before. She needs to get away from him and his poisonous life.

Looking at himself in the mirror, Jax was disgusted with what he saw. Before he could even think twice about it his fist punch the mirror in front of him.

A small sob escape his lips as he saw his broken reflection staring back at him.

Once again, Tara was gone.

* * *

_Charming 1996_

She sat on his stoop for God knew how long and Jax was still nowhere to be found.

She looked everywhere for him and she couldn't find him. No one in the clubhouse could point her in the right direction but she suspected that they were purposely withholding his whereabouts from her. She felt her frustrations boiling over when she saw Gemma smirking at her from the TM office as she asked Bobby about Jax's whereabouts. No one in TM knew where he was so she came to his house hoping that he would make an appearance.

She nervously hugged her knees closer to her chest.

So lost in thought she was that she missed the sound of the bike. It wasn't until she felt his hand on her shoulder that she looked up.

"Oh, its you."

David smiled at her. "Don't look so disappointed there Knowles."

He sat next to her setting his satchel full of newspapers in between them. He took one out and threw it on Gemma's front door.

They continued to stare out as the sun shone brightly against their faces.

"So, are you going to tell me what's bothering you before both you and I get sunburned?"

Tara sighed. "Jax and I are going thru some stuff, Davey."

David nodded. "Wanna talk about it?"

Tara shook her head. "No, not really."

"Let me guess… does it have to do with you getting that scholarship in San Diego and you wanting to leave?"

Tara looked down to her shoes.

"Tara, look at me."

When she looked at his blue eyes, she saw the genuine concern in David's eyes.

"You are so much better than this. You always wanted to get out to be a doctor. Remember when you told me that two years ago at the diner? Get out. Leave Charming behind before you turn into one of them."

They both hear the rumble of the bikes before they came into view. Jax and Opie parked their bikes in the driveway as David and Tara stood from the stoop. Tara noticed Jax's tense jaw as he noticed David standing next to her. Turning to face her, David locked eyes with her. Reaching out and grabbing her hands, David pulled her into a hug. "Get out before its too late," he whispered just as Jax reached them. Pulling away, David squeezed her hands and walked past an obviously furious Jax. Giving him a tense smile, Tara watched as David walked down the driveway, past Opie who was also scolding at David.

"What the fuck was he doing here?"

Tara looked at Jax. As charming and playful as Jax usually was, there was also a darker, possessively jealous Jax who made it no secret that he hated David and Tara's friendship.

"Delivering the newspaper. What else would he be doing around these parts?" Tara answered, crossing her arms in front of her. "Where have you been?"

Just like Jax had his jealous side so did she and in the years they had together, Jax quickly learned that Tara had quite the temper to her whenever someone pissed her off.

Tara heard the rumbling of Opie's bike as he pulled away from the driveway.

Jax stepped closer to her. "I don't like it when you are alone with that prick. How many times do I have to tell you that? People could start talking if they were to see you alone with him."

"Who gives a fuck what people think Jackson? What people say about us shouldn't matter…isn't that what you once told me? What? Are you afraid that another man could steal me away from you?" hissed Tara in a dangerously low tone.

Jax's jaw tensed even more. His nostrils flared as his eyes burned with anger.

Tara was ready to scream at him for disappearing without telling her where he was when she felt her feet leave the ground. Jax had thrown her over his shoulders and was carrying her into Gemma's house as she pounded her fist against his back.

"LET ME GO, JACKSON," she screamed as Jax made his way to his room, her screams echoing around the empty house.

Kicking his bedroom door shut, Jax placed Tara on her feet. By this point she was shaking out of pure anger. She hated when Jax acted like a caveman. With all her might she slapped him across the face.

When he looked at her, the red print on his face, Tara felt her heart pound against her chest. He roughly grabbed her by the waist and kissed her with all his might.

She struggled against his hold for a minute or two but her love for him took over. Pulling away slightly, she whispered, "fuck you, Jax," as he attacked her neck with his lips.

"Yea, Tara. Fuck me," he whispered against her neck as his hands made it to the front of her shirt. She heard the ripping of the material as her hands made their way to the buckle of his belt.

Moving them backwards to his bed, they continued to undress each other in a frenzy, both too drunk in their passion to give a shit about anyone else but themselves or the fight they were having.

When they both fell on the bed, Tara pulled away from Jax's bruising kisses. Locking her gaze with his, Tara brushed his hair from his beautiful blue orbs. "I love you Jax," she whispered.

Smiling at her, Jax brushed his lips against hers. "I love you too, Tara," he whispered back.


	5. Chapter 5

Tis the season of some Anarchy…

It's starting again J

P.S. –Chapter 6 is already written…will post it up after the season 6 premiere…

Chapter 5

Even through the shut door, Tara could hear the music that was playing loudly in front of the clubhouse. Gemma was really in a mood if she was looking for solace in Mick Jagger's voice. Surprisingly enough, Abel lay sleeping in the bed next to her undisturbed by Gemma's love for the Rolling Stones.

Its been a couple of hours since Jax left them both in the secure clubhouse and her nerves were getting the better of her. When she kissed him good-bye she didn't know if it was going to be the last time. In front of him, she tried to be the cool, collected Old Lady he needed her to be, but truthfully, she was scared shitless of what could occur when Jax meet up with A.J. Weston. She didn't want him to return to her in a body bag.

Getting up slowly so not to wake up Abel, Tara secured the baby by placing pillows around the edges of the dorm bed.

Grabbing her satchel, Tara made sure that the door to the dorm was locked before making her way to the bathroom.

Setting her bag in the sink, Tara looked at her reflection.

Over ten years ago, she left to escape the anarchy. Now, she was back and the chaos and danger was more potent than when she was nineteen years old. As much as she loved Jax, Tara knew that a part of her would always fear the consequences of the world he was part of. She could easily leave but situations were tying her down to Charming once again.

There was Gemma…After being raped by Zobelle's men, Gemma has gotten softer, kinder and wiser. Ironically, that rape was the cement she and Gemma needed to solidify their turbulent relationship.

There were there the boys…Opie, who she always loved as a brother. Chibs and his fierce loyalty that has made her love him as the big brother she never had…Juice and his goofiness that Tara found absolutely adorable. Bobby and Piney and their ever-ending wisdom…Even Tig and Clay were growing on her.

Opening up the satchel, Tara took out the pregnancy test she bought earlier at the pharmacy.

Walking over to the toilet, Tara unbuckled her belt and jeans and sat down, the pregnancy test in between her fingers. When she was done, she stood and placed the test on the sink waiting for the results.

When she ran from Chicago, she knew that in Charming she would find the safe haven that she needed from Joshua's insanity.

She didn't know that in a few short weeks after her arrival, Jax would kill Kohn and make love to her as Kohn's body made room temperature. Afterwards, as she cleaned the carpet as thoroughly as she could, she remembered thinking about what made her date Kohn in the first place. All those moments they spent together…the good, the bad and the creepy. As she cried tears for the crime she helped commit, Tara couldn't help but think of the baby she aborted in Chicago and how fucked up its life would had been if Tara would had decided to keep it.

Now over six months later, Abel was nearly 10 months old and she couldn't help but to think of the first child she didn't have. If she would had kept Kohn's baby, it would had been around one right now meaning that she and Wendy probably got pregnant around the same time.

Even if she would had kept the child, deep down she knew that her path would had crossed with Jax's at one point in their lives. And she also knew that Jax would have loved her child by another man as much as she loved Abel.

Glancing down to the pregnancy test, Tara stared at it as the blue line slowly but surely made its way across the small strip…

* * *

_About a year earlier…_

"This anesthesia will numb the cervix. Afterwards, I will insert the…"

Tara cut him off before he could continue. "Dr. Smalls, please. I know the procedure. Please just…" Tara shut her eyes briefly before looking at the doctor once again. "Just do it."

Nodding, Dr. Smalls silently reached in between Tara's legs. Flinching slightly as she felt the prick of the needle, Tara stared at the ceiling as she heard the doctor moving around her legs. When she felt the nurse squeeze her hand, Tara knew that the doctor was doing what she needed him to do. Closing her eyes, Tara allowed for her mind to drift to happier times. Her childhood before her mother died, when her Dad would give her piggyback rides around their yard. Or when she first realized how it felt to be in love. When she walked across the podium to deliver her multiple valedictorian speeches… For about twenty minutes, she allowed herself to basket in those moments of pure happiness.

"Dr. Knowles, the procedure is complete…"

Opening her eyes, Tara looked at the older man.

"Thank you," she whispered.


	6. Chapter 6

Readers… be warned…Sex scenes down below.

By the way…Pissed off at Jax for his indiscretions…again. I wrote this before the season six premiere. I hope Tara gets so sort of revenge for what Jax did.

Please review and respond. Thanks

**Chapter 6**

"Oh God," he felt her nails digging into his back, probably breaking his skin. He gracefully pounded into her harder, laying kisses among her arched neck as the sound of the headboard egged him to go even harder and faster.

"Come on baby…faster…" her hips met his repeatedly as her moans grew louder. He groaned when he felt her tighten the muscles in her pussy…she knew that he loved it when she did that. He pounded into her faster, grabbing her hands from his back and placing them above her head, their fingers intertwined.

"Jax…Jax…"

He felt her walls quiver as she wrapped her legs around his waist screaming his name out of pure ecstasy.

Wanting to cum while she was still riding out her orgasm, Jax pumped his hips faster until he felt himself spilling inside of her. With a groan, Jax lay his head on the nook of her neck, his breath coming out in quick spurts.

"You are definitely trying to kill me…" he whispered against her neck after a moments silence.

Tara laughed. Stroking his long hair Tara kissed his crown. "See, I think it's the other way around Mr. Teller."

Jax shook his head against her chest, his head still foggy from the mind-blowing orgasm he just experienced. He knew he had to roll off her at one point, that his weight was probably crushing her but he just wanted to be inside her for a little bit longer. He wanted to bask in the feeling of wholeness he was currently experiencing being connected to her not only spiritually and emotionally but physically as well.

Lifting his head so to look at the love of his life, he wasn't surprise to see her skin still flushed in a lovely shade of pink, her hair matted against her face as their sweat started to dry off.

Tara smiled gently at him.

"I love you."

Her smile widen as her green eyes sparkled. "I love you too, baby."

Kissing her gently before getting up and stretching, Jax looked at the clock on his night table. "Fuck," he whispered as he ran his fingers thru his very tangled hair.

Wrapping the sheet over her exposed body, Tara sat up. "Must you go?"

Jax looked hungrily at her covered body. "Trust me babe, if it were up to me, I would be here all night, screwing you senseless."

Tara sighed. "Yea, I know," she whispered. She reached around to the other side of the bed and located his previously discarded white t-shirt. Letting the sheet fall, exposing her perfect breasts to him, Tara put on his shirt and stood from the bed. Jax groan when she bent down in front of him to pick up her panties, her ass and the crow tattoo both simultaneously exposed to him. He felt his dick quiver.

"Yea, you are definitely trying to kill me, Knowles," he said as he stroked himself.

In front of him Tara laughed as she threw off the shirt and dropped the panties recognizing the look of pure lust and devotion Jax was giving her.

"Lay back," he motioned to the bed behind her. Like the good girl she was, Tara did as she was told and waited for him to climb on top of her. Spreading her legs, Jax looked into the eyes of the woman he has loved for most of his life. "I fucking love you so much baby," he whispered as he nipped at her lower lip.

When he entered her again, they both groaned not really caring about the world outside of that room.

* * *

"Where the hell have you been?" grunted Piney as Jax climbed off his Dyna. Placing his helmet on the handlebars, Jax walked towards the disgruntled old man.

"Nice to see you too, Piney." Jax lit up as he waited for the old man to bitch about his lateness.

Noticing Jax's swollen lips and fatigue looked, Piney shook his head and walked away from Jax to the cabin's front door.

Opening the door without knocking, Jax and Piney made their way thru the cabin and into the main room. Noticing the kutte and jacket thrown in the ground, Jax made his way into the bathroom to find his best friend, drunk and laying down on the floor. Jax mumbled a curse.

When Opie looked up to see the two most important men in his life looking at him, he broke into a sob. Piney sighed as he watched Jax threw his cigarette in the sink and crouched down to the floor. Hugging his best friend, Jax watched as Piney left the small bathroom, leaving a broken Opie sobbing in his arms.

Glancing around, Jax noted the empty bottle of Patron on the floor.

"Come on Op, let's get you in the shower."

Given that Opie was much bigger than he was and also drunk out of his mind, stripping him down was not the easiest task.

By the time he had Opie in the shower, a thin layer of sweat was covering Jax's skin.

Sitting on the floor of the small stall, Opie continued to sob as Jax sat in the toilet and watched his usually stoic brother, break apart.

After a few minutes of the shower running and Opie quickly crying, his best friend gave Jax a teary glance. "Jax, please give me a couple of minutes. I'll be out in a few."

Understanding the needs of his best friend, Jax walked out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

Walking out to the living room of the cabin, Jax saw Piney sitting at the table, another bottle of Patron sitting in front of him.

Getting a shot glass from one of the kitchen cabinets, Jax sat and poured himself a shot, neither he nor Piney willing to break the silence.

When Opie finally emerged from the bathroom, he looked as broken as he was earlier in the night. Jax stood while Piney chose to remaining sitting.

Sitting down in one of the empty chairs, Opie rubbed his tired eyes and looked at both his father and best friend. "I am leaving," he announced suddenly.

Piney's head shot up and Jax gave his friend a confused look. "What do you mean?" Jax leaned against one of the counters, crossing his arms in front of him.

"I need to get away from Charming for a bit. Clear my head from all this shit."

"How about the kids?" Piney asked.

"Let Mary watched them. I got to go. I just need to…" Opie's voice broke again as a sob threated to spill over.

"Op…" Jax sat in front of his best friend. "You can't runaway from this… You got the kids, the club…"

Opie cut him off before he could even finish the sentence. "When Tara left, you could barely get out of bed for months. This is different Jackson. Donna…" Opie's voice broke as he looked down at his hands. "she is gone. I have to live with the fact that I have to live the rest of my life without her. Imagine if it were Tara who was lying down with her head blown off…"

Jax cringed. If it were Tara who had been dead, he wouldn't survive it. She and Abel were everything to him.

When she left, at least he knew she was alive and well elsewhere. He also had hope that one day they would cross paths again…

Piney stood and clasp Opie on his shoulder. Giving him a nod, Piney walked to one of the other rooms and slam the door shut.

Jax poured himself another shot. Placing the glass on the table, he motioned for Opie to get up. Giving his brother a bear hug, Jax patted Opie on the back. Breaking the hug, Jax looked at his best friend, "I love you, Op."

Giving him a sad, but small smile, Jax walked out of the cabin into the darkness.

* * *

Taking off his helmet, Jax turned off his bike and sat for a minute in his dark garage with his eyes closed. Running his hand thru his hair, Jax jumped when he noticed that Tara was leaning against the door that led into the kitchen, her robe open, revealing a black nightgown.

"Hey," he whispered as she folded her arms in front of her.

"Hey, I heard the bike," she waited for him to break the silence before walking over to where he sat. Giving him a small kiss, she stroked his hair. "What's wrong, baby?"

Jax shook his head. "Op is leaving. He needs to get away for a while."

"Understandable, don't you think? After all he has been thru in the last couple of days."

Jax looked up at Tara. He nodded his head as he pulled her closer to him.

"Jax," she whispered against his crown.

He looked into her eyes. "If I were to ever lose you, like Opie lost Donna…" his voice broke.

Tara silenced him with a kiss. "That's never going to happen baby. I am here." She sat in front of him, facing him, straddling the bike.

She ran her fingers thru the patches on his kutte, before slowly removing it from his body and throwing it on the floor. Her hands reached to the bottom of his shirt. Lifting it over his head, Tara threw it to the ground as she placed small kisses on his chest, the kitchen light casting dark shadows in the garage.

Jax removed her robe, kissing her neck and shoulders as Tara tangled her hands thru his hair. "I love you, Jax," she whispered, as Jax reached for the hem of her nightgown, throwing it on the floor with his discarded shirt and kutte. Noting that she only had a small thong on, Jax growled as his mouth made its way to one of her perfect tits as his hand palmed the other breast.

Tara's moans quickly filled the once silent garage.

When he heard the unbuckling of his belt, Jax broke away from her perfect nipples to watch Tara undo his jeans with her small, medical hands.

"Take these off, baby. I need you inside me."

Not having to be told twice, Jax got off his bike and took of his sneakers and pulled down his boxers and jeans simultaneously, releasing his erection from its confinements. Getting back on the Dyna, he grabbed Tara and kissed her with all his might, pouring his soul into it. His hands travel from her hair to her hips, where he tugged the sides of her thong, ripping the thin material that was preventing him from drowning himself inside her.

"Turn around babe." Tara gave him a confused look as she stood from the bike and straddled the Dyna the other way around. Stroking himself, Jax leaned forward and turned on his bike. "Place your hands on the handlebars, babe." He wanted her tattoo on full display as he made love to her. Jax reached towards Tara's front and starting stroking her in her nub. Tara's quick gasps and moans turned him on even more as the vibration of the bike also increased her pleasure. Stroking her for a few more moments, Jax slowly inserted two of his fingers inside her, going in and out until he felt her juices running down his hand. It was when he felt her walls starting to clench that Jax grabbed his cock and slowly entered Tara from behind. Tara screamed as her first orgasm took wave of her body, her juices running down his cock and into his Dyna.

When she came down from her high, Jax slowly drew in and out of her body, reaching over to place his hands on top of hers on the handlebar. Locking eyes with her thru one of his mirrors, Jax continued to make love to his Old Lady while he switched from looking into her eyes thru his bike's mirror and glancing down at Tara's tattoo their moans disturbing the quiet night.

"Jax…baby…faster."

His Dyna continued to purr under them as he went deeper with each movement of his hip. Her hips starting moving in a slow, torturous circle, making the crow on her back look like it was flying as their hips continued to move in synced with each other. When he felt the pressure on his lower back starting to build up, he reached to stroke Tara in her sensitive nub. Between Jax's increase pace and the pressure of his touch, within minutes Tara was screaming out his name as waves of pleasure wrecked havoc on her body. Wanting to cum with her, Jax let go, spilling himself inside her walls as they continued to clench around his dick.

Tara collapsed on top of his bike, her hands going limp on the handlebars. Pull himself away from her pussy, Jax kissed her back, running his hands over her tattoo, watching as the sweat started to dry off the black ink.

"God, Teller…You are trying to kill me, aren't ya."

Jax laughed as Tara stood from the bike and turned around to face him.

With one of his hands, Jax smooth her hair and gave her a kiss on her lips.

"I love you, Tara…With all my heart."

Tara smiled at him. "I love you too, Jackson."

She stood from the bike. Walking naked to the kitchen door, Tara looked back at him. "How about a second round?" she said with a smile as she walked into their home.

Turning off his bike, Jax followed his Old Lady into their home.


	7. Chapter 7

Kurt it breaking my heart this season… Its so hard to watch what's going on between Jax and Tara….very heartbreaking. Personally, I think Jax needs to wake the fuck up before he loses his family… He has lost grip of all realities at this point.

I want to thank mellymel22…Thanks for being my go to person to vent J

This chapter takes place when Jax and Tara are 18…Again, I make reference to things that I address in my other story, There's Us, so please if you have read it, go ahead and do so! Sex scene down below…

P.S.: I am going to write a lot of those from now on…going to focus on the happier jax and Tara moments given that this season is so miserable for them.

Chapter 7

Donna paced back and forth in the small room, biting her nails to a quick. Tara watched from the mirror on the vanity as she continued to apply small amounts of makeup on her pasty skin.

"Stop pacing so Goddamn much. You are making me nervous!"

Donna stopped and looked at one of her best friends. Finishing off with the mascara, Tara placed it back in her purse and turned to look at Donna.

"Am I crazy?"

Tara smiled. "No, Donna, you aren't." She walked over to her friend and gave her a hug. "This was meant to be."

Donna wrapped her arms around Tara's waist. "I am so nervous."

Tara laughed. "I would be too but this is right. I feel it."

They stood with their arms wrapped around one until a loud knock disrupted the quiet room.

Jax strolled in without waiting for the girls to answer. Pulling apart from one another, Donna and Tara smiled up at Jax, who also stood smiling.

"You girls ready?"

Tara looked over to Donna, who nodded her head enthusiastically.

All three exited the small room and made their way to the main chamber area of the small chapel. The lights of Las Vegas created beautiful shadows in their faces as they waited to be called into the Chapel.

When the small lady who processed the marriage licensed appeared and motioned for them to walk in, Tara gave Jax a small kiss on the cheek and hugged Donna before grabbing the fake bouquet and walking into the Chapel.

When she walked down the aisle, she saw Opie pacing back and forth as the Elvis Impersonator stood back, a small smile tugging on his lips as he watched the nervous teenager in front of him.

When Opie noticed Tara in the lavender dress, she and Donna purchaed a couple of hours ago, his face broke out in a huge grin—a grin that Tara eagerly returned as she made her way down the aisle.

When she finally reached the end of the aisle, Tara hugged Opie with all her might and stepped to the side, waiting for her man and her best friend to join them at the altar.

Within minutes, Jax and Donna appeared, both with huge smiles on their faces. Tara's eyes connected with his as he walked Donna down the aisle, the baby bump barely visible in her white summer dress.

Donna had tears of happiness streaming down her eyes as Jax handed her to Opie.

The ceremony was short and sweet, Donna and Opie only having eyes for one another. Tara would alternate between looking at the loving couple and the man standing directly in front of her. Every time she looked at Jax, she noted that his eyes were always on her, smiling, his eyes twinkling.

When the Elvis Impersonator pronounced Opie and Donna, husband and wife, the newlyweds shared a sweet and passionate kiss as Tara and Jax and everyone else in the room clapped on.

* * *

She stroked his naked chest as they both tried to catch their breaths. Tara placed her head atop of his chest, his heart beating profusely against his chest.

After a few minutes of blissful silence, Tara shifted so her gaze could connect with his.

Jax grinned at her as he pushed her hair out of her face. "I love you, babe."

Tara returned the grin. Kissing him softly on the lips, Tara answered, "I love you too."

Jax stroked her bare back silently, both gazing at each other's with content smiles.

Within a couple of minutes, they heard the moans of ecstasy coming out of the wall next to the motel's bed headboard.

Tara giggled as Jax shifted his gaze to look at the wall.

"Want to give Op and Donna a run for their money?"

Tara nodded as she simultaneously climbed on top of Jax. Running her fingers up and down his chest as she straddled his waist, Tara looked at the biker who had stolen her heart.

"You think we could beat them?" Tara asked in her most sultry voice.

Jax groaned as he felt her juices running down his thighs. Not waiting for him to reply, Tara took all of him in, moaning loudly as she did.

* * *

It was well past three in the morning when Tara woke-up with a start. Next to her, Jax was still fast asleep, his naked body barely covered by the sheets.

She noticed the multiple hickeys that adorned his neck and chest and smiled, knowing that she was the cause of them. She also flinched knowing that she was also probably covered with hickeys, bite marks and beard burns and that Derek would definitely have something to say about that.

Feeling eerily restless, Tara stood slowly from the bed so not to wake Jax. Locating his boxers and shirt, Tara quietly put them on. Grabbing the motel's keycard, Tara exited their room quietly so not to disturb him from his deep slumber.

Like all standard motels, the door to her room led directly to the outdoors. She was surprised to see Donna also outside, her back to Tara. Tara walked and stood next to her friend, her arms automatically leaning against the banister of the second floor.

"What are you doing out here?"

Donna shrugged. "Have a lot on my mind, you know?"

Tara nodded as she stared out ahead of her. They were silent for a few minutes, before Donna spoke.

"Do you ever wonder what's going to happen to us?"

"What do you mean?" Tara glanced at Donna who was biting her non-existing nails.

"I mean, like what's going to happen to us, five, ten years down the line…to them…"

Tara pondered Donna's question for a minute before answering. "Do you regret marrying Opie?" The question was sudden but Tara didn't know how to go about answering Donna's question.

"God no. Opie is the best thing that has happened to me. And now, with this baby…" Donna rubbed her growing bump. "I feel more connected to him than ever before. It's just I am scared, Tara. Scared of the shit the boys do for Samcro that we don't know about."

Tara shifted her weight from one foot to the other. Still leaning against the banister, she looked out to the Vegas lights off at a distance. "Honestly, Donna, it scares me too, but I am more scared of living without him, you know? I mean…I love Jax more than anyone. He needs me like I need him."

She saw Donna nodding at her statement. "Yea, I know what you mean but how do we go about this? Being an Old Lady? And a mother, with all the violence?"

Tara again didn't know how to answer Donna's inquiries. She knew that Jax kept things hidden from her. It was hard not to notice when he winced in pain after getting into some fight or another. Or the nights when he is withdrawn, a look of guilt following him throughout the next day. She knew when he was telling her half-truths or straight up lies causing them to fight passionately.

"I don't know, Donna," Tara whispered as a light breeze blew her hair around her face. "I really don't know. All I know is how much I love him."

Tara thought about the letter of acceptances that lay hidden in her desk drawer. She got full rides to all of the colleges and universities she applied to, but she didn't take any offers because leaving Charming meant leaving Jax. She couldn't do that…not to him and not to herself.

"I know, Tara. I love Opie too…" Donna sighed. Smiling she looked over at Tara. "In a couple of years, it will be you and Jax with a couple of kids."

Tara nodded as she felt her heart pound in her chest. She wanted all of that with Jax…but deep down she knew that she wanted more for them too. She wanted more than what Charming and Samcro had to offer.

"Yea, that will be us."

Tara and Donna turned to see Jax leaning against their motel door, his arms crossed across his naked chest; a white towel covered him from the waist down.

Tara looked at his face, and searched for any recognition as to whether he heard most of their conversation but his face was blank under the shine of the moon light. He pushed away from the door frame and walked towards them, his arms automatically reaching Tara. Pulling her towards him, Jax looked into her eyes and grabbed her face and kissed her with all his might, his tongue delving into her mouth without warning.

Tara pulled away, aware that Donna was standing not too far away. "Jax!"

Jax just held her closer to his body, as he turned her around so they both faced Donna, his arms wrapped around her front, not letting her move away from his body.

Donna shifted from one foot to another, looking nervously at Jax.

"I love him Jax…" she whispered as her blue eyes at Jax straight in the eyes.

Tara felt Jax's chin move to her right shoulder as he looked at Donna for a minute without saying a word. "Yea, and he loves you too."

Tara shifted uncomfortably, feeling the awkwardness of the whole situation.

"Why are you up from bed, Teller?" she asked as she intertwined her fingers with his. She brought their hands to her mouth and kissed the rings that adorned his beautiful fingers.

"Shouldn't I ask you the same thing?" he nuzzled her neck. "Woke up and didn't find you next to me. Can't really sleep without you near me, babe." He gave her neck a lingeringly kiss and he pulled her even closer to him.

Desire spread thru her rapidly as she felt him pressing against her lower back, where the tattoo she got in his honor permanently rested.

Donna cleared her throat. "I'll be heading back inside now. Goodnight, y'all." She quickly walked over to her room and quietly closed the door, leaving Tara and Jax alone, in the hallway.

Tara felt Jax's tongue against the curve of her neck.

"Jax…" she whispered as he gently bit and then sucked an area in her neck. "Jax, let's go inside."

Jax turned her around in his arms. Kissing her passionately, one of his hands reached inside his boxer shorts that she wore. Stroking her swollen nub, Jax pulled away as soon as he heard her moan against his lips.

"You see, babe. I don't you could make it inside." He rapidly turned her around so the front of her body leaned against the banister of the motel's balcony. Tara placed her hands on top of the banister, holding on with all her might as she felt Jax pull the boxer shorts down her legs. She felt his towel drop to the floor.

"Jax…" she whispered as she tried to turn around to face him but he had entrapped her between the banister and his bare body. He quickly bit a part of her collarbone he knew drove her crazy.

She tried to hold back the moan that came to her throat but when he entered her from behind, she could help it any longer. One of Jax's hands went over her mouth as he quickly pumped in and out of her, his hand quieting down her moans. She gripped the banister as tightly as she could as she felt her body and mind move to nirvana as Jax's hips brought unexplainable pleasure to her body.

"I fucking love you so much, babe…I love you…I love you so much…" he whispered over and over in her ear as he picked up his pace, eager to make her reach her peak before he reached his.

She felt the pressure starting to pick up among her walls and spine as her hips met his forcefully, her knuckles turning white against the banister as Jax filled her to the hilt. She felt herself scream against his hand as her orgasm ripped thru her body, taking her to nirvana. She felt Jax spill inside her just as she was coming down her high, a low groan escaping from his lips.

Jax dropped his hand from her mouth as he soften inside her.

Pulling away from her, Jax grabbed the boxer shorts and placed them back on her hips. Tara turned around just as he secured the towel back on his waist. Tara picked up the card key that fell to the floor moments before.

"We should probably go in now…" Jax said as he took her hand and led her back into their room.


	8. Chapter 8

Hi all!

Sorry for the late update. I am still not liking what Kurt has done with Jax and Tara…Its frustrating me to no end.

So, this chapter is very graphic due to the sexual contents…

Please R&R!

Chapter 8

Jax led them inside the house, their hands locked together in a firm grip.

When they crossed the threshold, Jax closed the door and led them to the living room.

Giving her a small kiss on the lips, Jax whispered, "I'll be back," in her ear before walking towards the back of the house.

Walking into the bathroom, Jax stripped off his white t-shirt and jeans before turning on the water. Quickly, he brushed his teeth, wincing when the mint of the toothpaste touched the cut on his lip.

Climbing into the shower, Jax felt relieved as soon as the hot water hit his body. Bracing the wall in front of him, he allowed for his mind to wander to the last 24 hours. So much shit happened in such a short amount of time, that his thoughts were scattered everywhere. Taking a deep breath, Jax tried to relax but he simply couldn't. It was like chaos and death was constantly surrounding him. He didn't know how to move forward without breaking apart what was built over the years. What was clear was that change had to happen or the world that he grew up in would fall apart.

A gush of cold air disrupted his morbid thoughts, the shower door recently opened.

Tara stood there, her soft brown hair framing her beautiful face. She gave him a small smile before climbing in behind him.

They stared at each other, silently communicating with one another, like they had a million times before. Jax reached for her, wrapping his arms around her small frame. He felt her arms around his back and he pulled her closer. He inhaled her sweet scent—a scent he missed for over ten years.

"I love you."

He felt her smile on his chest. She looked up, "I love you too, Jackson."

His hands made their way to her face and he pulled her into a bruising kiss. His mouth tasted like pennies, so he knew that his lip was probably bleeding again, but he couldn't pull away from her. Tara was always like his personal drug. And like a junkie, he always craved for her and when he had her, he needed more. The pull she had over him still frighten him, but she was his North. She was the only one who could center him when shit started going left.

But part of him still feared that she would pack her shit and leave him again, like she did when they were nineteen.

The first year after her departure, he was a fucking mess. There wasn't a night he didn't drink himself into oblivion, fucking croweaters left and right, trying to bury the pain in booze and pussy.

When it dawned on him that she wasn't going to come back, that she was truly done with him and Charming, he went on autopilot and threw himself to club business. He put Tara in a box and buried her deep in his heart. Samcro became his life and even though he rose quickly among the ranks, part of him always felt empty. Even though, he locked her away, there wasn't a day he didn't think of her and what she meant to him.

Now she was back, wrapped tightly in his arms, as the warm water fogged the small bathroom.

"Never leave me again, babe."

"I don't think I could, Jax."

His eyes fluttered shut as he felt her fingertips among his cheek. Her fingers lingered on the cut on his lip and he winced slightly as he felt the brief sting. Her lips quickly replaced her fingers and she placed a lingering kiss on his wound.

"I love you, Jackson," she whispered against his chin.

Even though the hot water had warmed his body, he felt goose bumps on his skin when she whispered those words to him. For over ten years, he yearned for her touch and love and he finally had her back in his arms where she belonged.

Tilting her chin towards his face, Jax kissed her with all of his might, pulling her closer to his slick body. Trailing kisses down her neck, Jax felt relieved to have her in his arms.

"If it would had been you, I would had died," he whispered on her ear before nibbling on it.

He felt her pull away. Seeking his eyes, Tara grabbed his face and looked into his blue orbs. "Jax…" she whispered.

Jax tried to look away as he felt his eyes water.

"Jax, don't hide from me, baby."

He felt like someone was squeezing the air from his lungs. The knot on his throat grew as Tara's arms wrapped around his waist. Again, he hugged her close to his body as the sob left his body.

For minutes he wept in her arms as the sorrow of losing Donna hit him like a ton of bricks.

When he couldn't cry anymore, Tara unwrapped herself from him and kissed him tenderly on the lips before looking into his eyes. "Jackson, I love you. I have only loved you. Never forget that."

Jax nodded. Giving him another kiss, Tara opened the shower door and walked out, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Finishing up, Jax turned off the water and walked out of the shower. Wrapping a towel around his waist, Jax let out a sigh of relief. Tara and his son were both safe.

Walking into his room, he saw Tara sitting on the edge of his bed, untangling her thick mane, a towel wrapped firmly onto her body.

"You shouldn't bother."

Tara looked up, the brush still in hand, a small smile tugging on her lips. "Oh yea? Why is that, Teller?"

He stood in front of her, droplets of water running down his body. Unwrapping the towel from his waist, he let it pool around his feet.

Tara stood and walked around him, placing the brush on the bureau. Turning around to face him, she loosen the towel, also letting it drop to the floor.

She stood in front of him, running her hands up and down his very well defined chest. Grabbing her face, Jax kissed her hard and passionately. They battled for control for a while, before Tara gave in, like she always did. She pulled away and tried to lead them to the bed, but Jax stopped her by wrapping her body firmly to his. Desperation filled him quickly as he wanted to make her his over and over again but he also wanted to drive her to the edge many times over before letting her ascend to nirvana.

He kissed her with all his being, pressing himself to her. She felt how hard he was and she moaned.

Again, she broke the kiss. "Make love to me, Jackson."

Jax gave her a teasing smile before shaking his head. "Nah…I am kinda hungry, babe."

Tara gave him a confused look before Jax's hands travelled to her back and rested for a moment above her crow tattoo…his crow tattoo. The image of him making love to her doggie style, his crow moving as their hips created the beautiful rhythm they always did, turned him on even more. His hands continued to travel south until they were under her cheeks. Using his hands, he lifted her up until Tara wrapped her legs around his waist, her hands gripping his shoulder blades.

Tara giggled as Jax carried her out of the bedroom, giving her a rare height advantage. She attacked his mouth not really caring where he was taking them. It wasn't until she felt the hard surface on her ass that she mustered the strength to pull away from his delicious mouth.

Jax had placed her a top the kitchen table. Pulling one of the chairs out, Jax sat on it as Tara's legs swung from the edge of the table. Facing each other, Jax on the chair and Tara on the table, they each looked at one another with pure animalistic sexual hunger.

"Put your feet on the table, babe, and lay back." Jax grabbed his cock and starting stroking himself when Tara did as he asked. "Touch yourself."

Tara raised her head slightly and placed her fingers inside her folds while she watched Jax slowly jerk himself off.

He licked his lips as he watched Tara get herself off. He took his time with himself because he had bigger plans for the two of them, especially her. He was going to make her cum over and over again.

For minutes, he watched as Tara's fingers went in and out of her perfect pink pussy, her moans getting louder, the closer she got to her orgasm.

"Jax, please baby. I need you inside of me," she whispered as she felt the pressure of her orgasm building up. She picked up the pace of her fingers.

Jax released his throbbing cock and shook his head. "Nah, babe. Not yet." He inched the chair closer to the table until his face was inches away from her pussy and her fingers. "I need to eat first."

Removing her fingers, Jax plunged tongue first into her pussy. Tara screamed as the wave of her first orgasm tore through her.

Jax drank her juices as Tara's back arched from the table, her fingers finding their way to his long locks. She rode out her orgasm as Jax tongue fucked her without mercy.

Tara pressed herself closer to him.

"Fuck…Jackson…Fuck…"

Jax felt Tara's nails on his shoulders as he continued to lap on her juices. He switched from sucking to licking her from top to bottom. It was went he started using circular motions with his tongue on her clit that Tara started screaming from the top of her lungs as another, more powerful orgasm took over her body. Jax watched as Tara repeatedly screamed his name, his tongue delving in and out of her, circling her swollen nub. He felt his skin break around his shoulders as Tara spread her legs wider and dug her nails deeper in his shoulder blades. She moved her hips in synced with his tongue as she rode out her second orgasm.

"God…" she whispered as she came down from her high. She locked eyes with him as he pulled away from her sweet pussy. Jax stood suddenly, making the chair topple over.

Jax smirked as he ran his tongue over his lips. "Tasty."

Tara sat up and hugged him closer to her body, wrapping her legs around his waist and arms around his neck. She kissed him tenderly, not caring that her juices were on his face. Pulling away she locked eyes with him once again, "Thank you," she whispered hoarsely.

Jax nipped her lower lip.

"Now, Teller…What are we going to do about you?" One of Tara's hands reached over and started stroking his already hard cock.

Jax moaned in the crook of her neck as he felt her warm hand around his dick.

"Fuck me, Jackson."

Before Jackson could even fathom her request, Tara filled herself up with his cock, wrapping her legs tighter around his waist. Jax pounded away, groaning whenever her hips met his. Having the sudden urge to move away from the table, Jax securely grabbed Tara around her waist and allowed her to take control. She rode his cock, as he stood in the middle of the kitchen with no support but that of his muscular legs.

Grunting, Jax felt the sweat trickle down his face as Tara rode him harder, her moans becoming louder by the second. She wrapped her arms around his shoulder blades and bit into his neck, surely leaving a mark. She tighten the muscles in her pussy, making Jax's eyes roll to the back of his head as he felt the pressure of his orgasm building up in his balls.

"Fuck, babe…I am going to cum."

That made Tara ride him even harder and faster as she also started to feel the build up of another orgasm.

"Fuck…Harder, Tara…"

Jax braced his legs as he felt cum shoot out of him into Tara's pussy. Simultaneously, Tara screamed as her walls started pulsing as Jax's warm cum spilled inside of her.

Both of them continued to move their hips as they came down their high.

When Jax finally landed back to planet Earth, he took a few steps back and sat Tara on top of the table, her legs still wrapped around his waist as she rested her head on one of his shoulders, her shallow breath coming out in bursts.

He ran his hands up and down her sweaty back, his soft dick inside her. When he pulled away, he heard her small whimper.

"You okay there, Knowles?"

He felt Tara nod against his neck. She ran her hands up and down his back, pushing herself closer to his body.

She pulled away from his neck and locked her gaze with his.

"I love you."

He smiled. "I love you."

She kissed him and he eagerly responded. After a few minutes of kissing tenderly, she felt him harden against her stomach.

She pulled away.

"Again?"

Jax smirked. "Couch?"

Tara laughed as Jax picked her up and walked out of the kitchen into the adjourning room.


End file.
